Chapomatic

February 10, 2008

I Despair For My Country (Although My Waistline Might Well Improve)

Filed under: — Chap @ 10:55 pm

Jonah Goldberg just helped me get thrown out of an ice cream shop.

Over in Pacific Grove, California, a pretty little town between Monterey and the Pebble Beach golf community, where no hovel goes for less than about $800K, is a Lappert’s ice cream shop. Lappert’s is a brand from Hawaii and makes a darn good vanilla.

This vanilla today had some auwe in it. As I get to the head of the line I note that prominently displayed on the counter is a bunch of Truther literature. You know the kind: pictures of the WTC7 collapse, links to loathsome websites, the works.

“You don’t believe all this stuff, do you?”, says I, not realizing the storm to come.

“It’s all in there”, says the aging boomer running the place, pointing to a copy of the 9/11 Commission report in a Ziploc bag beneath the Troofer stuff.

“But you believe that the U.S. did it to ourselves? Then you’re a fool.”

He didn’t start calling me a Nazi and racist, though, until he noticed the book in my hand. Saturdays are
the only time off I have from this job, so I try to get a little reading in sometimes. In this case, it was Liberal Fascism, and I’m up to the part where Goldberg gets into Wilson versus Teddy Roosevelt in progressive ideals. Apparently the red cover is a red flag. Then I got called a racist for being white–how do you know what I am, quite frankly?–and it got a little loud in the shop.

I received a Nazi salute as I walked out, and the aging boomer eating his ice cream with his date near the door fluffed up and started telling me how he wasn’t going to talk to me as I was going out the door. I guess he didn’t like it when I stopped and asked him why he was talking to me if he didn’t want to talk to me…the gears didn’t move too quick on the guy.

Troofers. Boomers. Rich comfortable people in fake alt-lifestyle decorated businesses. Argh.

I can’t even buy ice cream without Troofer crap served up liberal fascism style.

Update: The author is kind enough to link! Thanks–it’s not often you read a book and simultaneously get life lessons about the theses in said book.

Update and bump: Ed Driscoll kindly links as well. He’s right–I was thinking about Kathy Shaidle’s questions also, but the discussion such as it was went to eleven too quickly for me to say a complete sentence.

To tell the truth, though, I was thinking of this also as I went back home–“the most intricate and flawlessly executed plan ever evaar”.

Well, that and “gosh, my history teacher never talked about President Wilson like this. I wonder why?”

Update: And of course Ed (pbuh) was way ahead of me.

Update: The funniest line yet about this mess.

Update: This line’s good too.

Update: I hadn’t realized…I was living in George Bush’s America.

Update: Phibian’s right; right at the end there was about what it looked like.

51 Responses to “I Despair For My Country (Although My Waistline Might Well Improve)”

  1. Chapomatic » Two Ninety-Five Well Spent Says:

    […] lame screed and they laughed heartily…after I had recommended the book that got me thrown out of an ice cream shop. Ehh, maybe he reads purple. I also mentioned the plot points of Amity Schlaes’ new one (The […]

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